i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So much rum. So many feels.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
