There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
