The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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