If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
