Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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