Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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