Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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