I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
