she woke up with a sticky ear
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize