i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
