if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
