So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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