There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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