i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
