I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
