Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
