When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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