sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
