I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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