it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Randomize
