Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think people are normalizing furries
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
