Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
