I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
