I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
