Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
