You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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