there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
