I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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