using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
