you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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