she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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