Just cropdusted the office
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
