i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize