so explain again why im purple
no
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
