i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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