What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
