i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
