dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize