we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
