How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
accomplished twins. life is a go
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
