I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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