BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
