god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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