hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
