i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
