His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
