Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
