Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
