You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
