I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
