i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
