How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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