So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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