PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
