Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
