I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
