Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
