I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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