I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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