Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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