Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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(337): View more from Louisiana

And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

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(863): View more from Florida

i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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(250): View more from British Columbia

A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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(740): View more from Ohio

She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.

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(518): View more from New York

I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.

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(727): View more from Florida

You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.

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