Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
