It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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