He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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