I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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