he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize