Screwed.edu
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
